Back to School

So, blog readers, can I tell you a secret? I am pretty nervous about starting school tomorrow, and I can't really pin down why. I am not scared of the subject matter - I am sure it will be challenging, but in a good and welcome way. I'll finally be studying something I'm interested in, and I truly feel that going back to school at age 30 will make me appreciate the educational experience even more. And I'm not worried that I won't be able to handle the workload. I'm pretty sure that after surviving law school and, more miserably, the bar exam and big firm law, I am prepared for just about anything. So what's my problem? I really don't know. This is a change I've been wanting to make for years. I've daydreamed about it and thought "man, I wish I had the guts, but I will probably never do that." Well now I AM doing it. And I AM excited, but also nervous. It's a big unknown looming right ahead of me. For those of you who know me or read this blog, you know that in the past couple of years, there have been some life-altering changes in my life. And here I am about to step off the cliff and into another big one. And it's incredibly exciting, but also a little scary. Particularly because I'm a "real" adult now - I guess you can't help but feel that way at age 30. A real adult who is about to have zero income until I find a part-time job that will work with my school schedule. That's a little intimidating and feels like a pretty big step back compared to lots of people my age, to be honest. But I do have to remember that in reality, it's a HUGE step forward to pursue something that will make me ultimately make me happy. And I will find a way to make it work.

As silly as it sounds, I honestly think that one other thing I'm nervous about is having a student schedule again.  How many of you just rolled your eyes and thought "yeah, tough life, POOR YOU?"  But really, let's just think about this for a minute. It's been about 6 years since I've had a student schedule. That was in law school, where my roomies (Cat and Rachel) and I would sleep till noon, lounge in PJs watching Grey's Anatomy in the afternoon, and rush home from a BUSY DAY (2 hours of class) to take a much-needed nap. Last time I checked, that's not socially acceptable for a 30 year old! Since that time, it's been kind of non-stop...gone are the days of true leisure time. In the past 6 years, there hasn't been a free moment when I haven't felt like there's something I needed to be doing. When I didn't have a job, it was searching for a job. When I worked contract, it was still searching for a full-time job while sometimes juggling two contracts at the same time. When I worked at a big firm, it was constant pressure to bill more, travel more, work more, do more, more, more. And since I've left that job, it's been getting my life together and figuring out the next step....which is this speech pathology program I'm starting tomorrow.  So when I look at the large chunks of free time in my school schedule, I can't help but wonder how I'll fill those hours.  Hopefully I'll find a part-time job soon so I can continue to fund this next chapter of my life. And I am excited to spend a little more time working out and possibly teaching spin at some gyms around town. I know I'll settle into the groove and end up loving every second of it, but I guess right now it's just hard to imagine such a huge departure.

Tomorrow I'll go up to campus for orientation. I'll get my student ID (yay cheap movie tickets and other student discounts!) and my parking pass. And I'll jump back into life as a student. Stay tuned!